You must have heard people say this at least a hundred times. What will society say? People are talking very bad about you. People are questioning your behavior. How will I ever show my face now?
In bible there is a story. There was a prostitute and the people (society) felt that she should be stoned to death. So they gathered with stones in hand. The girl ran to Jesus for help. The only thing Jesus said was “Anyone who had not committed any sin can throw the first stone on her”. No one dared. The so called society is filled with hypocrites, barbarians, thieves and perverts who don’t have any rights to point fingers at you. In fact they speak about you to pull you down to their levels. It helps their ego to see a good soul being tarnished so that they can say – “Ha, (s)he too is like us”. Simple proof of things – People freely talk shit about others without realizing that they themselves are a pile load of shit.
You probably have heard of this donkey story. A man and his son had to travel with their donkey from one town to another. The donkey being old and tired, they all walked. On their way were four people gossiping about something. The moment they saw this travelling party, they commented “Why on earth would someone have a donkey and not ride on it. How foolish can that be”. So the man and his son decided that it makes sense to ride on the donkey but since it was old and tired only one of them will ride it and the other walk beside. Since the man was himself old he rode the donkey and the son walked by his side. However they came across another set of 4 people in a tea stall, again discussing some unrelated stuff. They saw the man riding the donkey and said with a stern face. “What a cruel man; He rides happily while his poor son has to walk”. So the man decided to put his son on the donkey and walk beside. In the next stop, a further four people hissed among themselves but loud enough for the travelers to hear. They said “The poor old man had to walk in this age, while his young and arrogant son is riding”. The man thought for a while and decided that they both ride. However they had gone only a few hundred meters when they met the fourth set of four people who said, “How can human beings be so cruel to animals. The poor donkey is both old and tired and these two goons are sitting on top of it” and they were right too. So the man decided to heed to their words too. He tied the donkey front and hind legs with a rope and between him and his son they carried it. They felt happy that they finally managed to shut up everybody. However when they came to flooding river and had to cross it on a bridge, the donkey too afraid, started shaking, stumbled out of their hands, fell into the river and died.
Moral of the Story (English) – When you start paying attention to what people gossip about you, you will end up with your ass in trouble
Moral of the Story (Hindi) – कुछ तो लोग कहेंगे, लोगों का काम हैं कहना छोडो, बेकार की बातो में , कही बीत ना जाए रैना
Moral of the Story (Tamil) – நாலு பேர் நாலு விதமாதான் பேசுவாங்க. அதபத்தி யோசிச்சா நம்ம நாள் தான் வீனா போகும்.
Facebook (verb) is a nice fun activity. It helps to in one place get updates about our friends and family, what they are up to. It also allows us to provide a window for the world to see how we are doing, where we have been and what we have done of late. Whatever technology brings to the table, people will always remain the same. So if earlier we had to brag about the latest saree or gadjet in a family social meet, we do that now much faster and more often using facebook. We want the world to see and fume inside the great life that we are living. So it is not uncommon to find photos of us on a family trip to Dubai or flaunting the latest costly gift that our spouse gave us. Nothing wrong with that, basically we are updating that we have been on a trip. What could be wrong with that? The intention. That is what is wrong with it. The best category of photos and updates goes to personal relationships. A personal close photograph becomes a public object to kindle jealousy among the not-so-close people or worse still people who are yet to find a meaningful relationship. Worse yet are the updates like – see my husband cooks food for me. I see the updates frequency is the most and the content exotic among people living outside India. Funny still people who comment on them are also those who fall in the same category. Let us make some straightforward interpretations of these updates. They would be something like
“See what you are missing”
“I am so happy with my husband/wife”
“See where I am now. We were once so similar and in the same position”
“What a pathetic life you have got”
“Make your life meaningful. Go out and enjoy like me”
“See how beautiful my wife is”
One thing is, weak minded people do fall for this trap and begin feeling bad, exactly as what the (im)poster wanted to happen. So brace up. Our life is not a junk pile and we have much better things to do than make a feature film of our life. Still facebook is a nice entertainment for about 5-10 minutes a day.
Context – What is it. It is everything. It is life. It is what makes you you and me me.
For computer science graduates context generally refers to all the details that are part of a running process. It is not very different in life too. A context is one that is build on our experience, perspective and outlook of life. A simple example. What is luxury? For a person who is in battlefield, a few moments of sleep is luxury.Getting alive home and meeting his wife and kids is a luxury. For a person who has been riding a bicycle all his life, a two wheeler is a luxury and the two wheeler guy a car. For the car guy it is truck – no you silly – a bigger better car. It goes on but you get the point. Right? When we complain about life, we miss the point. All it takes is to alter our context and look at the world from someone’s else’s context.
We have a wonderful caterer for lunch @ our company and he has excelled in not letting us get bored of his food. However on some off days the food is not inspiring and we do complain, atleast among ourselves. Who would eat this junk? Many in this wide world would. Have a look at the picture of somalian kids and you would swear to not waste food after that. Imagine in the shoes of people who were left hungry and with the only choice of eating each other. The only thing that differs is the context.
We do complain that life has not been fair to us. If you are reading this, then you have been fortunate enough to be educated, understand computers, wealthy enought to have access to one and still you complain. Research says that people who have had life threatening experiences behave life yogis after that. Because they have understood and experienced a context which no one else has. They know that the momemnt we realize we are a temporary variable in this universal code and will be purged out of the stack when the time comes, we take life much more positively. Take war for example. The society that has seen war sees our normal everyday boring life as a gift. Same with people diagonized with say Cancer. They would feel that we are wasting a precious gift called life.
Context exists in personal relationships too. My wife believes that there could be no one else taking care of his wife as I do. Her sample data consists of pigs dressed as men and of men who behave as feudal lords of yester-years. Men who would prove their manliness by controlling their wives and treating them as bought slaves. So even a normal male human being seems like an impossible existense to her. Similarly when couples fight they often have totally different context bases. Same with a parents and their kid. More than half the problems can be solved the moment one switches context and looks at it from the other side.